SKYE stephenson

A few weeks ago, my son and his girlfriend visited for the weekend. The morning after their arrival, she told me that she had very realistic dreams, different than normal, last night. Oddly, I had as well. And as we discussed our dreams, we discovered to our surprise a similarity between them. How could that be?

            There are cultures, and people, that will begin each day sharing their dreams with their family and community. Much, they believe, can be learned from what we dream. For it is possible, at least with some dreams, that we actually dream our experiences before they happen. And that we can share, as I sort of did with my son’s girlfriend, common dreams if we are linked in relational ties. For instance, many people dreamt of scenes like September 11^th months, weeks, and days before that even in 2001.

            That our dreams are powerful is an understatement.

            That we can play an active role in our dreams, and thus (possibly) our reality unfolding is worthwhile to consider – especially in connection to our own healing. And our collective healing as well.

            So where to begin? A good place to start is with the simple act of recording our dreams. This is not always as easy as it sounds, for the dream images and sensations most often dissipate not long after we awake. Which is why keeping a journal by your bed and making it a practice to scribble down whatever you remember from your dreams right when you wake up is so useful. To do this, of course, requires discipline and focus. And a belief that these dreams are meaningful and important.

            It is true that some dreams are so memorable you never forget them. Maybe you have had a few of these in your lifetime. But most of our dreams are not that potent, most do not sear themselves into our mind evermore. Which is why the practice of writing them down before you forget is so important.

            If you try dream journaling, you may be surprised how much you can write about a dream. What might have felt like a mind flash can sometimes (at least for me) fill up several pages in my journal. Details like the general sense of the scene, the placement of the images (up, down, right, left), any elemental or tonal characteristics, and so much more can all have meaning.

            Robert Moss, a well-known teacher and author about dreamwork, suggests giving the dream a title. He also suggests that after you write it down, you carefully note any follow up questions, items to explore, and even concrete actions to take.

            For instance, if there is a name in the dream that comes up of a place or person – it can have a meaning beyond what you may first guess. Recently I dreamt of a young boy named Martin. Now I have always liked that name, but I do not know anyone named Martin well. Upon awakening, I learned that Martin comes from the Latin God of War: Mars. This information gave me another slant to that dream.

            Robert Moss also said that if you re-read your dream journal a few months later, you will often be surprised how much that you dreamt actually came to pass. This can be both literally, and in a more symbolic way. Or even, sometimes, with a more global slant.

            But what if you tend not to remember your dreams? This is very common for many of us, since we are not trained or instructed in dreamwork in our mainstream culture. Even the way we are often jolted awake by alarms, and begin our days with screen time and sounds and rushing to work or school inhibit a nurturing and tending of the muscles needed in our memory cords to retain, recall, and reflect upon our dreams.

            But like anything we put attention and practice to, with time we can enhance our dream recall. One way that helps some people is to try to recall even the smallest snippet of a dream image. It might be faint, blurred, almost inaccessible. But since we all dream – that is, in fact, one of the unifying characteristics of all humans – we all have those dreams somewhere floating in our mind spheres.

            At a dream conference, a presenter shared the story of a person who said they could not recall their dreams, ever. But that with some effort, they did remember – just faintly – a color. It was a lavender/purple. From that color, they were able eventually (with time and patience) to recall more of their dreamlife.

            In another example, it was the aroma of coffee that was all a person recalled. And from that, they eventually were able to recall more of their dreams beyond the olfactory sensation.

            What about repetitive dreams? Many people have these. A certain dream or image that repeats in their dreamscape over and over again. Sometimes for many years. Oftentimes these repetitive dreams can be scary, or have something frightening to them. They may contain an image or creature or situation that jolts us awake, heart thumping in our breast.

            Some schools of dream tending maintain these repetitive dreams are coming to teach your something, or tell you something. And that if you confront that scary creature or image in the dream itself – it may prove to be a helper and a healer. At the least, you will get a resolution of some type.

            Let’s say you dream repetitively of an enormous green monster chasing you, and you are running away from it as fast as you can. What if instead of running away, you turn around and let that scary green monster approach you. And then – looking that monster right in the eye – you say, “why are you chasing me?”

            You might be surprised what could happen next. That green monster might answer, “I want to tell you something. You don’t need to be afraid of ______ (fill in the blank) anymore. If you ever feel scared again, just imagine I am inside of you, and I will protect you whatever happens.”

            Or the green monster might suddenly shrink down in size. Or become a cute dog. Or it might dissolve away forever more.

            For our dreams can be as interesting (and more) than any movie or video game. And while we can choose to just be a spectator – allowing the invisible psychic forces to play around in our dreamscapes at their will – we can also choose to be a co-author of our dreams, writing the scripts we want and casting ourselves into the kind of roles we hope to grow into in our waking lives. 

Published in the Monadnock Shopper July 19-25, 2023